Since the age that I could move my arms; I flap them when I get excited.
The flapping is just the beginning
Since the age that I could walk; I get an uncontrollable urge to pace alone in rooms with the doors and windows closed.
When alone pacing, I sink into deep daydreams where I lose full control of my thoughts.
These daydreams excite me and my hands flap at the maximum level.
My body is alone in a room pacing, hands flapping, and even sometimes involuntarily jumping.
Mentally I am in different universe
This all happens involuntarily.
This happens everyday of my life
As a child a lot of words gave me trouble. I would say "shoom" to cover numerous things.
I slowly learned the correct words, but for my flapping, pacing, and deep daydreams there was no known word so "shoom" stayed.
I shoom. I am a shoomer. I am shoom.
As a child would ask my mom if I could go shoom. She would say yes, and I would go to my bedroom or bathroom close the door and shoom.
Once alone, my imagination takes off and I start pacing back and forth.
Pacing back and forth in a straight line, flapping my arms, occasionally jumping and talking to myself
All of this happens involuntary. I do not choose or try to do these things. I just let them happen.
There were a few times I remember in Elementary school where other kids would ask me why I would flap my hands and I would say, I am shooming. My memories were that the other kids that would ask were just curioius.
In middle school things started to change, it was part on me being self conscious, but I would get teased for flapping my arms.
No one else around was flapping. I was in jr high and it was "important" to be cool. This wasn't helping.
Lucky for me I switched from playing the trumpet to drums in sixth grade.
As a drummer I liked to tap my fingers, pencils, or anything to make a beat while sitting in class.
If I just kept tapping, the flaps stayed in my control.
I was probably told by every teacher I had in junior high to stop tapping in class.
I didn't stop.
Being harrassed by the teachers was better than other kids teasing me.
I would try tap softer and eventually started to softly tap my toes in class.
I was able to use music as my life crutch.
A life of Hand Flapping, Arm shaking, Pacing, and Intense Day Dreams
Growing up my mom would write me a letter about my life and read it to me on my birthday. I started journaling in middle school. I used these, my memories, and other sentimental items to outline my life as an avid hand flapper
At 42 years old I still flap everyday.
The happier! - The flappier!
If I had a child that was flapping their hands, pacing, and going into deep daydreams
I would...
Tell them they have a gift
Tell them to always be who they are
Encourage creativity
Pay attention to their creations
Offer space and privacy to flap and daydream
Write them a letter about their life each year
Avoid dramatic experiences that could have negative impacts
Introduce them to music (drums)
I would NOT
Try to stop them from flapping
Over expose or stimulate them
Make a big deal about it
Be worried they can't have a normal life
The Shoom Process
Interesting thoughts provoke daydreams
The daydream may contain something exciting which automatically triggers my arms and hands to start involuntarily starts flapping.
A little bit of flapping and thinking is great, but everything inside of me wants to fully experience this thought.
When I was a kid I would ask my mom if I could go "shoom" and she would say yes and I would go to my room and close the door. Even as an adult the doors have to be closed for the shoom to happen.
Now alone, I let the thought consume me and build up energy.
The growing energy is exciting itself not to mention there is something that must be thought about. Like watching a movie or reading a book for the first time I have no idea what's to come.
Without planning it out the same thing happens every time. My legs start pacing me back and forth.
The pacing gets me deeper into the daydream and that excitement makes my arms flap in in full force.
In this moment everything in life is perfect. I am so excited to be experiencing the thought. My involuntary selective vision begins and I no longer see the room I am in. I am now in shoomland.
I am pacing back and forth and flapping my arms alone somewhere, but my mind is a million miles away .
Most of the daydreams don't make sense. I see shapes and colors and it's almost like I can touch sound which feels like it's biting my finger sometimes. Sometimes I am just dumped into scenario and I just watch.
I have some control over my thoughts in shoomland, but usually not. Sometimes I am looking into complete darkness. I feel tiny and even if I make myself bigger it's so overwhleming that it actually feels good.
Eventually I am kicked out of shoomland and back into reality. The most common cause of a shoom exit is hearing a loud noise.
I can shoom with music on or off, but I don't hear it until I come back to reality.
Sometimes I see horrible things and I when I come back to reality I am crying or upset.
A build up of energy; good or bad and my body automatically starts moving.
Shooming is going with the urge and finding a proper place to let it out.
My shoom place must have a clean walk way and no one can see me.
(Doors and windows must be closed.)
I don't actually do anything, but I will go into a heavy day dream where my brain automatically turns on some type of involuntary selective vision. I no longer see the room I am in. will pace back and forth in a straight line, flapping my hands every exciting moment, and sometimes jumping up and down and muttering to myself.
This has happened every day of my life that I can remember.
I didn't know anyone else who would think, pace, and shake their arms for fun.
This lead to my childhood's biggest secret of me believing I was part alien somehow.
The best example I can give about hand flapping is simply a dog wagging it's tail. Sometimes it's a happy flap, sometimes not. Either way stopping a dog from wagging it's tail would be torture.
I feel best and most happy after a long shoom session.
I never went to a doctor because I feared they would try to get me to stop.
In my opinion; society doesn't accept weird things well.
Shooming is the weirdest part of my life.
Therefore; it hasn't been easy to talk about
The down side to hiding my shooming is that besides my family, no one is really aware of me doing this. I became concerned someone might not believe when im older that this has been happening my entire life.
If there is any shoomers out in the world without a good support system please watch my Youtube channel and please reach out to me!
(If you do have a good support system you can reach out also!)
Must dispose extra energy through shooming or other forms of exercise
I am humbled to say I have lived a normal life. If I could go back I would be a shoomer all over again.
